Guitar lessons in Crouch End and North London.

You know why you're on this page: 40 something, kids getting you down, work sucks big time, middle aged spread, watch TV on friday nights, fretting about your pension, wear a tie every day then jeans & Jacket on the weekends, no time for yourself any more, the P.M. looks too young to be in charge, mortgage just like your mega square parents had.

Have you been drooling over that nice shiny guitar in the local guitar shop? Been getting all nostalgic about that endless summer of 1979 where you started a band with your mates and you all swore you would never sell out to 'The Man'? Maybe you actually blew that bonus on a Les Paul or a Fender Strat and now it sits there in the corner, you might play it now and again but you know there is more to it, you know you could be more than this. Just owning that guitar isn't enough, you have to OWN it. Maybe you could still get that transit van, maybe you could still give it one last shot before impending 'dad-dom' claims you with its come hither comfy cardigan accompanied by pipe and ill-matching slippers. A dreary tableau of cosy domesticity, stretching forward inexorably into befuddled old age, a tableau completed only by the ageing labrador snoring faithfully at your feet, the wisps of acrid pipe smoke rising from behind the periodically rustled folds of 'The Times' newspaper and the solemn ticking of the grandfather clock that has ominously become both the soundtrack and the portent of your ever accelerating journey toward the inevitable. Maybe you could even fit into those jeans again....

The good news is that I can help. If you want to find out how all those tracks you loved are done, how to get those sounds, not to just copy the tunes but understand and use them as a stepping stone for your music, you really should give me a call. Also, you won't find it too humiliating to come and see me because I'm not some spotty, monsyllabic, socially compromised 12 year old, I'm just like you! (Without the tie, kids and regular job though...and I'm working on the middle aged spread). So, to summarise the situation you find yourself in, this is your last chance to avoid becoming your dad, it's cheaper than a sports car, safer than a superbike or an affair and there is just no way anyone can be a true 'dad' if they can play 'Pretty Vacant', 'Sweet Home Alabama' or 'Whole Lotta Love'. Geezer, this really is your last chance, I ain't telling you again... 0208 341 2439.